iWill give you no absolution
by NihilisticAmbition313
Summary: When Sam goes to Freddie to make amends after the "First kiss" incident, Sam does something that makes Freddie do something totally unexpected. Something that could leave his friendship with Sam and Carly destroyed for good...
1. Chapter 1

**iWill give you no absolution**

**by NihilisticAmbition313**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly and not profiting from this.  
**

**...**

**Chapter 1**

**Freddie's view**

That harpy. Her and her live on-air confession about never having kissed either. Like that was supposed to mean something to me. Of course _you_ never kissed before. Who the hell would wanna kiss an evil shrew like you?

Basically I was always able to tolerate Sam Puckett, partly for Carly's sake and partly for the sake of iCarly, but the night that she made me look like a lame ass virgin in front of our entire audience and our entire school was the last straw. I was done with her, for real this time.

I was sitting out on the fire escape listening to the radio, staring up at the Seattle night sky. It was clear and the stars were perfectly visible. I had my eyes closed and didn't see someone come over to me as they tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes to see who dared disturb me.

It was her.

"...What?" I answered in the most venom-drenched tone I could conjure

Sam was taken aback by my hostility, but sat down across from me anyway.

"Hey...Did you watch the show tonight?" she asked in a tone that was uncharacteristically meek for her

"Yep." I curtly replied

"...So, we're cool?"

Heh. Are we cool? In all of Sam's drivel on iCarly not once did she say any kind of 'I'm sorry', yet she automatically thinks we're supposed to be cool.

"No, Sam. We're not cool." I icily told her

I looked her dead in the eye. She didn't flinch, but I could tell she was concerned.

"Dude, I'm sorry alright?"

"...Really?"

"Yeah...Look, I went too far, alright? Sorry I humiliated you like that."

Sam sounded sincere, and as much as I tried to keep my heart hardened I felt it starting to soften, just a little.

"...Thanks."

"Yeah..." Sam muttered as she played with a shoestring on her Converse "I don't even see what's so great about a first kiss anyway." she mused

"Me neither. It's totally overrated."

"Totally."

Neither of us spoke for several moments. I wanted to say something, but I still wasn't keen on speaking to her. I was still mad at her after all.

"...So, you comin' back to the show or what?" she asked

"I don't know. I'll think about it."

"Meh, not like we need you or anything."

"Excuse me?"

"I know how to do all that tech shit you do. You actually thought you did something that great, tech boy? Besides, the show's better without you all nerding it up anyways."

I couldn't believe it, but then again I could. Sam had gone from apologizing to insulting me at the speed of light. Why did she have to go out of her way to be such a bitch to me every chance she got? I was so sick and goddamned tired of being her whipping boy. I was sick of _her_. That was the last straw, _really _the last straw.

"...Go away Puckett." I growled

"Come 'gain?"

"Are you deaf? I said go away."

"Watch it Freddenstein."

"Watch _this_."

Before I could stop it, my right middle finger went up, right between Sam's eyes.

"I've had it with you Puckett. Go fuck yourself. Go away."

"Nobody flips off Sam Puckett!" she barked as she shot from her seat and approached me in a threatening manner

I didn't flinch. You see, I'm not a little wimp who can't fight back like most folks think. I just usually took Sam's shit in stride. This time though, the situation was different. All bets were off.

"You better slow your road, nub, or-"

"Or _what_?" I challenged as I stood up to meet her face to face

"You don't wanna find out."

"Pshaw, please. Newsflash, Puckett; Nobody's scared of you."

"Damn right you're a nobody."

Sam shoved me, making me stumble backward toward the banister of the fire escape, coming within just a few inches of the metalwork!

"Hey! You trying to kill me!" I roared, and in a flash I ran back over to her and grabbed her by both wrists

"Let go!" Sam shouted as she tried to wrestle away

She was going nowhere though. Unbeknownst to her or Carly, I'd been hitting the weights for almost a year. That, coupled with my growth spurt, made me way stronger than I was when Sam first began tormenting me. Strength-wise she was totally overmatched now, and I intended on showing her.

Thinking ahead of Sam, I blocked her attempt to knee me in my sensitive area with my own knee. I then swept her leg from under her with my own leg and sent her crashing to the floor. I quickly put my weight on top of her in the schoolboy position.

I now had her pinned on the surface of the fire escape by the wrists, totally helpless. She spat in my face, but I just laughed it off.

"Get off me!" she demanded

I looked into her eyes and saw something I'd never seen in those eyes before.

Fear.

"Make me." I taunted

"Asshole! Get off!" she screamed as she tried her best to reverse the pin

Heh, like hell I was letting her go. I felt something swell in the pit of my stomach, something like...pleasure. Yeah, pleasure. I loved having Sam prone and at my mercy for a change. It felt pretty damn good...

After squirming and spitting in my face for about ninety seconds, Sam gave up trying to escape and let herself catch her breath.

"I am so gonna kill you for this nub!"

"Blah-blah-blah." I teased, my grip on her wrists ever-firm

"You're dead!"

"You're dead." I repeated after her in a nyah-nyah voice

"Sorry ass nub! That's why Carly will never love you!"

Oh baby, you just shouted for the avalanche...

"Oh, Carly will never love me? Different day, same lame ass insult. You don't think I get that by now. I don't even care anymore. You can have her, since I heard around school you went that way anyway."

_Zing!_

"I do not!"

"You might as well. No guy would ever want an evil, ugly bitch like you anyway."

_Pow!_

"You're calling _me_ ugly? Ha. Seen a mirror lately?" Sam retorted with decreased ferocity

"Yeah, I have. _Broke_ any mirrors lately, witchface?"

_Bang!_

"Whatever man, get off me! Dude I can't breathe!"

"Oh, I'm sooooo sorry. Am I making baby Samantha uncomfortable?"

"Freddie get off me! I really can't breathe! Please!"

"Or what? You'll die? Heh, not like the world would miss you, Princess. I know _I _sure wouldn't. Carly would get over it after she found another loser sidekick to lead around by the nose and let leech off her popularity. Your own mother wouldn't even notice because she's always too wasted to remember you even exist."

Whoa...That last one was too far, and I could tell because Sam's expression went from frustrated to downright hurt.

My God, what in the world was I doing? I had one of my best friends pinned down and restrained like I was a common rapist, hurling the most mean-spirited and hurtful insults I could think of at her. The revenge fest I was having had gone from fun to disgusting in the time it took to spew the mother insult at Sam.

I let go of Sam's wrists and stood up from over her. She stood up as well and rubbed her wrists, which were red from the force of my grip.

"Sam, I'm sorry."

She looked at me with eyes full of hurt and full of tears.

"...Did you get your revenge out of your system?" she asked as her voice broke

"I didn't mean to do all that Sam, I'm so-"

"Yes you did. You meant it, and you enjoyed it...Grats dude. You finally got big bad Sam back. Feel like a big boy now?" Sam asked, her voice quivering

What I felt like was a big jerk. Was it really necessary for me to react the way I did to Sam's shove? Of course she wasn't trying to shove me over the banister, but in that moment I was just so mad at her and I overreacted. Boy did I overreact...

"Sam, I overreacted. I-"

"Have a nice life, Fredward Benson. Don't ever come near me again and I'll damn sure stay away from _you_."

I watched as she went back inside through the window, weeping. I then sat back down and put my face in my hands, cursing myself for letting my emotions control me. Earlier I said I was done with her for real, for good, but I was just talking out of my ass. Now however, I think Sam and I really are done, and this time it's all _my_ fault. Then I realized that Sam was going to tell Carly, and Carly was going to tell Spencer. That would be two more friends gone.

"Smooth fucking move, Benson..." I sighed


	2. Chapter 2

**iWill give you no absolution**

**by NihilisticAmbition313**

**Disclaimer: I sold iCarly to Schneider. I'm still waiting to get paid.**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update this one. I've been on a writing frenzy as of late and just neglected this particular story. But here you go. Eat up children.  
**

**...**

**Chapter 2**

**Sam's view**

It was all I could do to get as far away from Fredward Benson as possible. I left his apartment and went back across the hall to Carly's. I didn't even bother knocking. I let myself in. I assumed Carly was still upstairs, but I didn't go up. I sat on the couch in the living room and examined my wrists.

They were beet red from the force of Freddie's grip on them...

I kept replaying what happened out on that fire escape. All I could think about was how Freddie grabbed me then pinned me down. He was angry, and he was going to make me suffer, the same way I made him suffer for years. Looking into his eyes, I could see pure hate. Not the kind of petty dislike we'd always shared, but real, honest hate.

I can't say I didn't deserve it though. After all, I went out of my way to make his life a living hell. Tonight, he just finally snapped. I should've saw it coming, but I didn't care enough to. But it's like they say, payback's a bitch, and I got mine in spades.

"There you are." Carly said from behind as she came from upstairs "How'd it go with Freddie? Did you apologize?"

"Yeah..."

"Sam, have you been crying?"

"...Maybe."

"Why? Was it that hard to apologize?"

"It's nothing." I said as I wiped my eyes with my forearm, bringing my wrists to Carly's attention

"Oh my God, what happened to your wrists!"

"Freddie." I flatly replied

"_Freddie_!"

"It's no big deal Carls. The boy just finally snapped on me."

"Snapped!"

"Dude could only take so much of my shit. I got what was coming to me."

"That's no excuse for hurting a girl! I am going to give him a piece of my mind!"

"No, don't. I'm a big girl, I can take my lumps."

"But he hurt you!"

"I'll live. Don't worry about it."

"I'm going over there!"

"Leave him alone Carly! He may take it out on you too if you go over there defending me, dummy!"

"Ha! If he tries, I'll just get Spencer to kick his ass."

"You don't fucking get it do you? That guy across the hall isn't Freddie. He had me..."

I was about to describe what had happened, but a lump in my throat made me stall.

"...He had me pinned down, he was on top of me. I couldn't move and I couldn't breathe."

"Oh my God..."

"I looked into his eyes, Carly. He wasn't Freddie, he was somebody else...He was _enjoying_ himself, but not like how I enjoyed messing with him. This guy was sick, Carly...Just leave him alone."

"I don't get it. What did you do to make him snap? I thought you apologized?"

"I did, then I just _had_ to go insult him again...He insulted me back, and I got in his face...I sorta pushed him, and that's when he came charging at me. It happened so fast, before I knew it I was on my back with him on top of me."

"So you're saying you started it?"

"Yeah, but Freddie took it too far."

"Yes, but you started it."

"You're _defending_ him?"

"No, of course not! I'm just saying that you shouldn't have gone over there looking for trouble!"

"I wasn't!"

"That's what it sounds like to _me_!"

"I don't believe this! You're on _his_ side! No big fucking shock, you always have been!"

"I'm not on anybody's side!"

"Whatever, Shay!"

I was so angry that I had to leave before I did something to Carly that I would have regretted...

**Freddie's view**

I had to apologize to Sam. What I did to her was beyond uncalled for and completely out of my nature. I knew she would go straight to Carly's and tell her what I did, but I had to chance going over there. I had to make it right.

I came out of my apartment just in time to see Sam storming out and slamming the door, looking even more hurt than when she left me.

"Sam, there you are. Listen-"

"Don't you come anywhere near me!" she shouted with just a tinge of fear in her voice

"I just want to apologize!"

"Fuck you! Fuck you, your apology, _and_ your precious Carly!" Sam yelled as she ran toward the emergency stairs

What the hell? Why was she mad at Carly?

The door to Carly's apartment swung open, and the brunette herself came almost running out.

"Sam, wait! Come back, please!"

She looked over at me, and her exasperated expression instantly turned into one of anger. I knew I was about to get the tongue lashing of my life, and I was going to take it. I deserved it.

"You!" Carly shrieked as she marched toward me

"Carly, before-"

"Shut up! What the hell is wrong with you! How could you have done that to Sam! You ought to be so ashamed of yourself!"

"I am."

"You're a boy, and boys aren't supposed to hurt girls!"

"I know."

"Shame on you!"

"Yes."

"You owe Sam an apology!"

"I know, but she doesn't wanna hear it."

"...Well, she _has_ to." Carly, who could never keep up her anger for very long, said in a more calm but stern tone

"How? She doesn't want to be anywhere near me, she sure as hell won't answer any phone calls or anything like that...I really screwed up didn't I?"

"...Freddie, everybody has their limits. I'm not saying what you did was right and I'm not happy with you for it, but I can understand."

"...That mean you don't hate me too?"

"What? No, Freddie, I could never hate you!"

"Heh..."

I was so afraid that Carly would disown me for what I did, but I should have remembered that she's one of the most forgiving people in the world. I just wish that Sam would give me a chance to apologize. I said so to Carly...

"I know you do, and you have to try. Maybe not this weekend, but definitely starting Monday."

"...Carly, why is Sam mad at _you_?"

"Oh...She sorta thinks I took your side. I told her that she started the whole snafu with you, and she thinks I'm saying she deserved it, which I am _not _by any means."

"Damn..."

Nice going Freddie. You managed not only to ruin your relationship with Sam, you managed to ruin Carly and Sam's friendship too. You're on fire tonight big guy.

"...You wanna come in?" Carly asked

"No, thanks. I think I'm gonna go wash up and hit the hay."

"Oh...Good night then."

"Good night Carly."


	3. Chapter 3

**iWill give you no absolution**

**by NihilisticAmbition313**

**Disclaimer: Dan's coming, hide!**

**...**

**Chapter 3**

**Carly's view**

I gave up after the fifth ring of the tenth time I tried to call Sam. She wasn't going to talk to me, at least not tonight.

She really believes I took Freddie's side, which I did not. I don't take sides between Freddie and Sam. Yes, I may sometimes laugh when Sam messes with Freddie, but I do check Sam when she goes too far. The same as I checked Freddie for going too far.

"Baby sis? You in there?" Spencer called from the other side of the door to my room

"Yeah, come in." I replied from my comfy, cozy bed

My big brother entered, back from whatever errands he was out running. He instantly noticed something was bothering me.

"You okay kiddo? Looks like you got a little something on the noggin."

"Um...It's nothing."

"Oh, no. I know when something's eating you, shorty. You get this little droop in your mouth and you get these big old doe eyes."

"I do not." I giggled as Spencer sat beside me

"Yes you do. Come on, let big bro know all about it."

"I'm not sure if I should say."

"...Um, this isn't one of those..._feminine_ problems is it?"

"No!"

"Okay, okay...Is it about a boy?"

"No...Well, not a boy I'm seeing."

"Meaning?"

I explained to Spencer what happened between Freddie and Sam...

"Whoa...Was Sam okay?"

"Besides red wrists, she was physically okay. But Freddie really did a number on her feelings."

"Hmm...I never saw Freddie doing something like that."

"Me neither...But what's worse is that Sam thinks I'm on _his_ side, now she won't talk to me."

"How could she come to that conclusion?"

"Because I said she started it."

"I see...I wouldn't worry about it. You two'll be all square by Monday. She'll be back over here eating ham like nothing ever happened." said my brother, the eternal optimist

"I hope you're right."

Spencer leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"Thanks Spencer."

"Yup. Night baby sis."

"Night."

**Freddie's view**

The weekend went by in a blur. It was now Monday morning, and I made it to school with Carly, but no Sam. I had tried all weekend to get in touch with her, but she flat out ignored me. She didn't even so much as send me a text saying 'Piss off'. I would have felt better if she would have at least told me to leave her alone. To get absolute silence from the person I wished would leave me alone was disturbing. Very disturbing.

I was determined to apologize to her, and I would start by going to her locker. Carly came with me for support, and to make her own amends with Sam. She wasn't at her locker when we arrived, but Sam had a knack for being tardy. We camped out and waited for about four minutes when she finally came around the corner. She spotted us and halted in her tracks.

"Sam, can we talk? Please?" I called out

She said nothing, then turned on her heel and walked away.

I instinctively followed her, with Carly following me. Sam was heading toward the east exit as if she were going to leave school altogether.

"Sam, wait." Carly called

I ran up to Sam and placed my hand on her shoulder, to which she jumped back and stared me dead in the eye.

"Don't you _ever_ touch me again you son of a bitch!" Sam cried, grabbing the much unwanted attention of the other kids in the hall

"Sam...I just want to talk." I said as calmly as I could so as not to incite further attention

"So do I." Carly spoke up

"Fuck you both."

The hurt in Sam's eyes was unbearable to behold...

"Sam, don't do this. Please just let me apologize."

"There you go again. Why do I need to _let_ you apologize? Why do I need to give you absolution?" Sam asked

Not to be funny, but I was surprised Sam knew how to use the word 'absolution'.

"I'm not looking for absolution. I hurt you, Sam, and I need to make things right."

"Why? So we can go back to being BFF? So we can go on with our peachy friendship? You miss me or something?"

"I...Sam, I-"

"You hate me, Benson. I don't want anything to do with you anymore, so why the hell are you looking a gift horse in the mouth? I would've thought you'd be glad I avoid you like the plague."

"Sam, that's not fair."

"Life's not fair...Don't come near me again. Just leave me alone, both of you." Sam said, her voice cracking

Poor Carly was on the brink of tears as Sam walked out the east exit. I placed my hand on her shoulder as our seemingly ex-best friend walked out of Ridgemont High, and out of our lives...

**Sam's view**

Fuck Benson, fuck Carly, fuck Ridgemont. Fuck it all.

Benson needs his conscious soothed so damn bad, but I won't give it to him. I'm not gonna settle that loser's conscious. Why should I? He made it perfectly clear how he feels about me and what he thinks of me.

And I certainly don't bother with people who side with people who don't think shit of me. That spoiled, self-righteous brat Shay can go suck on it too. I don't need her...

I wandered the road that lead to Ridgemont with no particular destination in mind. My primary goal was to get as far away from those two sacks of shit as I could.

My feet eventually brought me to the Groovy Smoothie. I had just enough for a regular smoothie after I set aside my bus fare home. I was going to get one, despite the fact that T-Bo would question why I wasn't in school.

"Hey, T." I greeted as I approached he counter

"Sam? What are you doing here and not in school?" the man with the kickass dreadlocks asked

"Personal day. Gimme a Blueberry Blitz."

"Personal day, or you got suspended?"

"Dude, smoothie me and kill the questions."

"Sorry, can't serve to kids who're supposed to be in school."

From behind me I heard a familiar voice say "It's cool, T-Bo. She's with me."

I turned around and saw Spencer standing behind me.

"This one here had a doctor's appointment and she needed me to take her."

Huh? Spencer was lying for me?

"Oh. Well why didn't you just say so?" T-Bo asked

"Ah, I don't like talking about that kinda chiz." I said, playing along with Spencer

"Make that two Blitz's would ya?"

"You got it."

T-Bo set about making our order...

"Um...thanks." I peeped

The big lug pulled me by the hand over to a quiet corner of the shop and leaned down.

"You wanna tell me why you're _really_ not in school?" he whispered

"Because your sister and that bastard Benson are there."

"Yikes. I've heard you call Freddie a lot of things, but a bastard?"

"Because he is. Do you know what he did to me Friday?"

"Yeah, Carly filled me in on all that."

"Then you know how she thinks what he did is my fault."

"Isn't it kiddo?"

I couldn't believe what I just heard. Now Spencer is Team Freddie too?

"Et tu, Spencer?"

"Hold that thought."

Spencer went over to the counter and paid for both of the smoothies, even though I didn't ask him to pay for mine and didn't want him to. He came back and motioned for me to follow him to a table. I did, and we sat.

"...No, not et...um, et me. I'm not siding with the guy, and neither is Carly."

"Hmph..."

"...Freddie really hurt you didn't he?"

I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes.

"Yeah..." I mumbled, trying not to break down

"Want me to rough him up some?" Spencer asked, obviously joking

"Ha ha...I don't know. He's gotten a lot stronger."

"He must've, if he could've taken down the mighty pork-munching machine Sam Puckett."

"Ha ha ha."

Despite how I felt about Carly, I wasn't mad at Spencer.

The big lummox has always been like a big brother to me. I can't even count the number of times he's cheered me up when I was down, or the times he let me stay over at Carly's when things weren't going so good at home. I never knew my father, and Big Spence has pretty much filled the role of the grownup male in my life. I was not going to toss him aside regardless of how I felt about Carly.

"Come on, kiddo. Time to go back to school." Spencer ordered

"No can do."

"Yes can do."

"Spencer, don't argue with me." I said in my most threatening tone

"...Okay. Well, I guess you can come over and help me out with this awesome sculpture I'm working on. It's a-"

"Whoa, are you proposing manual labor?"

"Hecks yeah. You could-"

"I think I'll go back to school. Thanks for the smoothie."

Fuck _that_. I'll just go back to the hellhole, but I'll make sure to avoid _those two_...


End file.
